I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
