This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
