I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
