The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
