You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
