I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
