i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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