I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
