Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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