Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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