So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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