He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
