you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
