...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
