he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
