He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
