i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
