i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
