I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
