hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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