when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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