In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
