dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
