I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I didn't notice because vodka
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
