You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
