these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Randomize
