Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
