He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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