The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
