Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
where does the pee come out of this thing
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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