Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
