im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
