Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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