I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
