We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
