Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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