I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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