If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
