is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
