My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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