we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
