I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
