Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
