Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
