David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
