If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
