chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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