aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
