**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
