At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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