We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
